Why We Fall for the Wrong People – And Why It Feels So Damn Good (Until It Doesn’t)
Ah, Valentine’s Day. The season of love, overpriced prix fixe dinners, and heart-shaped everything. But for some of us? It’s just another reminder of the ones who got away, the ones who never stayed, and the ones we wish we never met.
We’ve all been there. One moment, you’re sipping a coffee, minding your own business—then BAM. A smirk, a lingering glance, or the way they say your name hits way too hard, and suddenly, your brain is out here rewriting its entire programming. You should run. Every red flag is flapping violently in the wind. But instead? You sprint straight into the fire.
It starts off electric. They make you feel like the main character in a movie you don’t remember auditioning for. The highs are intoxicating. The lows? Easily dismissed. They pull away? You chase. They give you just enough? You stay.
Until one day, you wake up and realize: this isn’t love—it’s survival.
So why do we do this? Why do we fall for the ones who leave us questioning everything? And why, despite all logic, does it feel so good—at least for a while?
The Thrill of the Chase (Or, Why Your Brain Is Low-Key Betraying You)
Blame dopamine.
It’s the same chemical that makes gambling addictive, scrolling TikTok feel like “just five more minutes,” and biting into the perfect slice of pizza euphoric.
And guess what? Uncertainty triggers dopamine.
Ever caught yourself refreshing your texts, wondering:
Will they text back?
Are they actually into me, or am I reading too much into this?
Are we soulmates or a walking disaster?
Your brain craves the high, even when it’s bad for you. The back-and-forth, the unpredictability—it keeps you hooked. Sometimes, it’s not even the person we want. It’s the high of winning them over.
The "I Can Fix Them" Delusion
Ah, the classic “But I’m different” lie we tell ourselves.
They’re distant? We just need to love them harder.
They’re emotionally unavailable? Maybe we can be the one to change them.
They hurt us? They didn’t mean to.
Reality check: You are not a therapist. You are not a rehabilitation center. You are not a magician who can turn an emotionally stunted person into Prince Charming.
If they wanted to change, they already would have.
And yet, we still believe we’re the exception. That our love is powerful enough to save them.
Spoiler alert: It’s not.
The Comfort of Chaos (When Dysfunction Feels Like Home)
For some of us, love has always felt like something to earn.
Maybe we grew up in homes where affection was inconsistent—where love felt conditional, where we had to prove our worth to receive it.
So when we meet someone who’s hot and cold, who keeps us on edge, it feels familiar.
We mistake butterflies for anxiety. We confuse passion with emotional whiplash.
If love feels like a constant emotional rollercoaster, it’s probably not love—it’s your nervous system screaming for help.
The Strength of Walking Away (Even When It Hurts Like Hell)
Leaving someone you still love is one of the hardest things you’ll ever do.
But here’s what no one tells you: You can still love someone and know they’re not right for you.
You don’t need to stay in a love that’s killing you just because you’re afraid of what’s next.
The right person won’t make you question if you’re enough.
📖 Sound Familiar? Read a Book That Gets It.
If you’ve ever loved someone too much, let Drawn Together wreck you in the best way. It’s a story of passion, obsession, heartbreak, and resilience—because sometimes, love is a battlefield. And sometimes, the hardest thing isn’t falling—it’s learning how to rise again.
